Sunday, May 12, 2013

When Mother's Day Is Hard

Sometimes, Mother's Day is tough.

I have sat in church year in and year out either holding everything in or sobbing uncontrollably as a list or poem is read, about all of the qualities of a Mom.

Others cry too, either because they couldn't have children, or their Mom has passed on, or they didn't experience the kind of mother listed, or because they can't be with their Mom, or because the list reminds them of their own feelings of inadequacy.

When you don't have a mother or a father or they have let you down, it can be so, so hard.

When you sit in church and think of all the ways you have messed up as a mom or a dad, that can be so, so hard.

But I was reminded today that no matter what it looks like here on Earth, we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and protects us and takes us under His wings, and we are the apple of His eye, and He sees us as beautiful and smart and doesn't look at us and see all of our failings as parents ourselves.

I have also experienced that God fills the empty spaces, and heals the broken ones.  Some take more time than I would like, and I am probably hindering the progress somehow, and I will figure it out and keep moving towards healing and wholeness.

When I feel motherless, He reminds me of women He has placed in my life who have given me great examples to look up to, who love me and encourage me and guide me and correct me when I need it.

He sat me down today at just THE spot in church where I was directly in front of a fridge full of the smiling faces of my church family (used as an example today that we are God's children and just like we put our kids' achievements in a place of honor on the fridge, we are His delight and He is so ready to show everyone His children and His love for them).  He reminded me that these smiling faces have stepped in and filled the void for me and my husband and children so many times.

He uses our kids to show us lavish mercy and grace and goodness, because we are our harshest critics.  Sure, we disappoint them and make mistakes, and they see that, but they are so quick to forgive and are looking for all the ways you are an amazing parent, and they think you are the smartest, funniest, most beautiful person on the planet.  They see us more through God's eyes than we see ourselves.

God is a good parent, and He thinks good things about us, and He doesn't leave the empty or broken places that way for long.  That takes the sting out of a day that sometimes feels too hard.

For everyone who is hurting, I wish I could give you a hug.  Since I can't, I hope you feel understood and comforted today.

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