Saturday, May 18, 2013

Sometimes You Just Know

"I knew, like you know about a good melon."  -When Harry Met Sally

Sometimes I don't know if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Sometimes this applies to the small things "Did I really want a wild cherry Slurpee or did I want Coke?" and sometimes it is bigger, like "Should I live in Texas or somewhere that isn't so hot?" I work hard to think it through, and make a mental list of pros and cons and whys and why-nots.

Today, Philip asked me what I wanted to be when I was growing up.  We had a long talk about it.  During the talk, I realized "These are the moments you know, and you realize THIS is what I am supposed to be doing.  And it doesn't take a lot of thought."

These moments sometimes happen once in a lifetime: "I know I want to marry this man."  "I know I want to be a Mom."  And then sometimes they happen once a year, once a month, three times a day, when we are reminded: "That's why I married him.  I knew I made a good choice."  or "I knew that being with my children is exactly what I am meant to do."

I posted the following on Facebook one day, another day when it was reaffirmed to me.  A day when in between the hustle and bustle of all we do, I had whispered a quick prayer, "Lord, please help me remember that You have called me and equipped me in these things I do." What came to me after is summed up here:

I love having my kids here with me. Some days it is really hard and I question my sanity but more often than not I am so glad we have made the choices we have and I know we are doing exactly what we should be doing, and I look at Gracie's little finger running below a line of text or see Philip curled up in a chair doing math, with his cheek resting on his fist,and I remember YES, this is beautiful. And it makes my heart smile.

Sometimes you have to stop thinking with your thinker, and Know with your Knower.


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