Forgive me if the following post doesn't always seem coherent- I have made countless phone calls this afternoon and typing up a blog post is a great 'I've been on hold all day' activity. Along with Pinterest.
The past few months have been a whirlwind. It all started with the kids having the opportunity to go to a great private school nearby, thanks to their loving grandparents. They are thriving there. No more homeschooling for us! So, I decided to go back to school, and doing the sensible thing like I always do...I signed up for a full load of four classes.
A few weeks in, I started having exacerbated health symptoms that became worrisome- but like usual, I put those aside. I had too much else to do. I'd already been ignoring the small symptoms for years...until one day in class I thought I was having a heart attack. I went straight to my doctor who probably thought "who are you?" (PS. self care is going to be a big theme for me in 2014). They listened to my heart and ran an EKG. It turns out I have a pretty common heart condition. (It isn't lost on me that the title of my blog involves the heart...and that currently the status is 'faulty') Common but moderately severe in my case. I am now on beta blockers which are relieving a few of my symptoms.
My son, who has had genetic kidney problems since birth, has been in a really rough stage with his health for a few years now; growth is really really good most of the time; but is presenting new challenges to his already challenged body. He has always had issues, but nothing like this. He was in the hospital on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, etc. He has had countless kidney infections and had major surgery in December. Earlier this week, he was in the hospital again. He goes in tomorrow for another small procedure followed by a few weeks of treatment.
I bet you can guess that by the end of the semester the number of classes I was taking was a big fat ZERO. I felt like a failure (and sometimes have moments where I still do) but I did what is best for my family. If I want to go to school, there will be time when they are adults. There's no way I could work or go to school right now, no matter how much I want to.
It has been a really challenging couple of months, which doesn't leave much room for blogging. I love writing and sharing though, so I hope to spend more time here soon.